I am honestly not sure what you are trying to say here, or what you think Veith was trying to say.
You can’t take sex (as in gender) out of the picture, though. Sex is a real thing, not just an idea, and it has real consequences in our bodies, society, and relationships. There is no such thing as an unsexed, gender neutral person. Veith recognizes this, St. Paul recognizes this. The vulnerability of a woman to her husband is what is being acknowledged and accommodated, here. It is different in type and magnitude from whatever vulnerability a husband experiences in reference to his wife. That’s important and trying to “gender neutralize” it puts women in a bad place.
Sorry so slow responding…
On the gender-not-being-neutral-or-irrelevant, I agree with you. That particular book does drink deep of some stereotypes (“men want more sex than women,” etc.) that exist for a reason but aren’t universal, and I think the love-and-respect idea can be applied both directions: women need respect (not just in a chivalrous sense, but as adult humans), too.
My point on Veith wasn’t really related: I just don’t like saying that authority stops being legitimate when it’s abused. I’d rather say that even legitimate authority always has limits in what it can demand. No one can ever legitimately command you to sin…yet Jesus and Paul both enjoined their hearers to respect a terrible and pagan civil authority as far as possible.
benefits of walking barefoot
- drawing electrons from the earth improves health
- earthing changes the electrical activity in the brain, as measured by electroencephalograms
- grounding benefits skin conductivity, moderats heart rate variability, improves glucose regulation, reduces stress and boosts immunity.
- earthing increases the surface charge of red blood cells
- it just feels really nice to walk through thick grass or soft sand or squishy moss
…I am gonna smack somebody.
Gene Veith (LCMS Lutheran writer) commented in his book on the family that if your husband does not love you sacrificially, that is, if he is selfish to the point of hurting you or forcing you to do things you don’t want to do, not only do you not need to give back respect and obedience, but you shouldn’t—a “Christ” who abuses his “Church” is no Christ at all but a sinister pretender, and obeying such a “Christ” would be nothing but idolatry.I don’t know if this makes any sense to anyone who isn’t already familiar with the Christian framing of marriage, but that thought of his has always stuck with me.
Some of this is probably ripples from this book, one that was recommended to my wife and me when we were engaged. We didn’t find it especially helpful to us and rather suffered through the gender stereotypes.
Yet it’s a good book. I would happily take sex out of it (though the stereotypes aren’t all wrong all the time) and frame it like this: in the same way that spouses owe each other love (whose opposite is hate), they owe each other respect (whose opposite is contempt): as human beings, as individuals created in the image of God, as brother and sister in Christ, and not least as lovers and partners in the joint enterprise of life. Just as I should refrain from scorning and disrespecting my boss even if I think he’s a poor manager, I should esteem my wife even if I don’t think she’s loving me sacrificially. (This is hypothetical; my wife is pretty much perfect. You think I’m joking.)
This is a reasonable counterpoint to one, perhaps the most popular, of the unipolar approaches (“Love your wives, end of story”) that some Christians have tended towards. And we’ve personally seen among family and friends what the effects are of unbridled scorn in a marriage. Respect isn’t “homage” or “obedience” (which is a pretty tendentious read of Eph. 5:22); this isn’t a very high bar.
Veith’s comment is about actual spousal abuse. I think it’s problematic to flatly discount a scriptural mandate (“Husbands, love your wives only if they aren’t abusive!”), but it may be helpful to people in that situation who’ve also been spiritually abused into believing they should tolerate it. But I would rather say: indulging abuse is never right or required; it is not a part of love, respect, or any other Christian duty.
my childhood russian edition of lord of the rings had the most amazing, medievally styled illustrations by sergey yuhimov.
i haven’t appreciated them when i was a child (i obviously wanted something more aesthetically obvious), but now i think they’re just - really badass. going to upload all i could find, in three posts.
HERE THEY ARE.
Folks - please consider calling the Sudanese Embassy in Washington, D.C. today (at 202.338.8565) to request the release of Meriam Yahia Ibrahim, an 8-month-pregnant wife and mother in Sudan who has been unjustly condemned to death for apostasy. Meriam’s husband, Daniel, is a South Sudanese…
Update here http://www.persecution.org/2014/05/15/hanging-a-mother-for-her-faith/ along with listings of Sudanese embassy contacts in several countries. Wherever you are - please take five minutes to help speak up for a young woman who is sentenced to die over a matter of conscience.
Yes, I hope that I’ve created a monster.